Friday, January 20, 2017

My Ego Death

Through the light as I shake uncontrollably
I see my death
A vision of collapsing and repetition in my lost love's eternal embrace

A rebirth in my eye
Third eye rise
Heart pain
Plexus pain
The words of truth destroy more barriers
Love in my heart so pure and pain so real
My chest burns

Energy compounded and realized through every point screams
Is this reality?
I see the full extent of everything that's no longer there but always was
Feel the ripple of energy crush against me with a ravaging truth
Every activation inside of me
My heart and soul burn my mind
Some kind of rising

The flames of pain bring me to the other side
I'm here naked before the stars and universe collapsing in every moment as my chest screams inside out
My perceptions constantly realign as mountains crumble and topple
Every layer is ripped
Every part of my mind destroyed
Every truth disassembled

No rest, only darkness and light, rinse repeat the next day
Insomnia
All the tears of pain and joy behind a lifetime's strangled psyche buried in darkness
Chains release and release, chain me again, release again, chain again
Will this pain ever subside as I smile and cry and plead inside

My soul wanting to be free as energy
Pulling as a magnet towards unknown destinations
Yearning, desire, sadness, emptiness, destruction, unity, love
White fire that burns and scrapes away the facades with obliteration

Only through losing it all to the fires of the cosmos did I surrender
Expand or die my body said
Acknowledge me, my soul screams to me

This beauty around me isn't as I thought it was
Trees breathing and stars brighter than before
I breathe
Stripped away all I knew and replaced with a crashing truth of my own existence
Authenticity truly found in the reflection of my own mortality

I see you there in the mirror again
There is only truth, eternity and freedom
Laughter, tears, love
Joy of being all three
Without abandon
No more illusion

I see beyond and my defenses are fully destroyed, love has always waited for me
Blinded myself to the truth
As the veil was lifted and I tumbled into the sun again only to emerge from this cold and calculated sleep
Soul shocked and torn yet beautifully realigned to truth

This is how my ego died and true love was no longer shadowed to me.

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