The strength we have as individuals is often weighed through our amount of problems, trauma, and suffering we've endured in our lifetime. It's a fact that personal ruin or thriving beauty can easily be transfixed in the past events that shaped us. Whether it's the people who took advantage of us, molded us, or taught us how to live our lives through their own vision; control versus creation of our own identity is always underneath the murky surface of our perception.
Compassion and sympathy are inherently natural positions that people take towards those that have been abused or are survivors of misfortunes; myself included. It's naturally looked at through society that goodness and fairness should be embraced. People typically have the disposition to fall into the category of sympathy towards victims, even if at times people wear a mask to fake said sympathy. Whether the fiction of caring is due to disorders, cognitive dysfunction, emotional traumas, birth defect, manipulation or just simply the inability to relate; the truth for those who can think intelligently and are aware know that it's about choice of personal power.
Most people I've met that can think for themselves; the need of having control of an outcome is always happening on various levels. For some, everything amounts to control. For some, the cost of control is inconsequential. For some, control is everything. Yet each side of the coin has the outcome of destruction or creation in the process of attempting dominion over another.
I'm an empathic upbeat person by nature. I care for those in need but I also will not back down from something that is a violation of my freedoms as an individual or is harmful for an extended period of time. I have a dark side that has either protected me or harmed others in my path for self preservation; and that was my choice to make. But I always made an effort not to violate others or abuse them. I always chose love because it was the one redeeming factor of a traumatic upbringing and harsh existence.
This could easily be looked at as a form of needing to control a positive outcome for the sake of goodness, and perhaps it is. But one thing is for certain: creation or destruction is happening every time you try to control anything. Your heart can be destroyed, leaving a chasm in it's place; or you can create something truly unique, real and magnificent from the pain. It's all about what you choose to do for yourself that matters in the end. An outcome will persist either way because you only truly ever have control of yourself and your own power.
We've all had to surrender to something that was out of our control in our complicated realities. (Death and time are the obvious ones.) But that momentary lapse of relinquishing control teaches us a lot about ourselves. It breeds strength of character and helps us grow; or it can utterly destroy us if control is all you've known. This is when creation of something substantive can take place.
On either end of the spectrum, we always have a choice if we are mentally capable to do so. The question is, what do you choose?