Survival is a fire that rages and sears through fear when a person is at their most vulnerable or being threatened. It can strengthen the heart and push people to do the most insane acts. I don’t normally like to write or talk about the subject of survival, as it’s my firm opinion one does not need to state its existence once it has come to fruition inside of you. A person, or survivor, simply knows what they can handle and what they can’t after experiencing the total sum of needing to be in that state. But it's been coming to my attention lately.
A strong lion doesn’t need to state the fact it’s a lion. It simply is one and this is reflected in the hearts of individuals that have faced incredulous adversity. Good or bad individuals, if such a concept of objectivity exists, will always shine through.
In the world we live in today it’s very easy to mistake the nature of what it really means to be a survivor. There is a lot of question as to what a person considers an act of true fear. Without going too far into social politics, I think most inquisitive minds know what I’m talking about when I say: modern day victim hood is more about selfish echo chambers. But I’m going to steer clear of that subject for now. It gets me going.
After spending some time with a few friends that were conversing on the aspect of needing survival in their lives at one point or another, I came back to pondering the idea of what it truly means in relation to personality. I’m fascinated at the subject.
While everyone has had different experiences that have drawn upon their fear to require them to go into a survival mode, it’s incredibly rare to find those with strings of events that have caused it to come to the forefront to such a degree that it has formed a strong part of their personality.
A friend asked me what it felt like to be in such a state more than once and I found it hard to answer while trying to portray it without just a negative connotation first. Yes, it can build character and definitely bring about a healthy moral compass; but it can also destroy like a ticking time bomb if it gets to a destructive point. It’s kind of 50/50 in this case. The best answer I had for her was,
“Well, it pushes you farther than you’ve ever been pushed before. It molds, builds, scars, and harms.”
As a survivor, I don’t enjoy bringing out the fury of that part of myself unless absolutely necessary. When it releases it can be devastating and a long drawn out event which has boiled over due to my patient, caring and fun demeanor being attacked, or constantly witnessing the injustice of those around me. (I don’t mean what most people consider injustices today. I mean true injustice of a person’s integrity, freedoms, character or life being threatened.)
It’s cold, calculating, angry and can come across as completely unexpected. It can be quite hurtful for the other party. This is mostly because it has engaged with that almost similar feeling of needing to survive. It’s not quite the exact same stance but it can get close depending on the event. It’s very rare to get to that point. Only a fool wouldn’t learn to temper that state.
My friend brought up a good question. If MBTI is to be considered a viable guideline to follow for the development of one’s own traits, does the survival instinct contribute to the supposed ENFP Te Bitch Slap? Can someone that has taken more than one brand of pain be just as susceptible to a strong turnabout or is it stronger depending on the personality of the individual? This is a question that’s been on my mind for a few days now. I’ll get back to this one eventually when I feel like addressing MBTI more and other types.
Either way, battle scars are beautifully woven traits which can provide a reminder of who you are and how far you’ve come: no matter what happened or will happen. Just a thought.