Sunday, May 28, 2017

Chicken People or People Chicken


I eat a lot of chicken. It’s one of my favorite things to consume. I find it tasty and it can go with anything. It can go with salad, pasta, bread, soup, potatoes, rice... I think you get the picture. Chicken is fantastic. I also like the chicken dance. Watching someone bob their head badly to a tune makes me chuckle inside because despite the fact that person looks ridiculous, they are enjoying themselves immensely. Do your thing, okay?

My mind often wanders to the thought of where our world would be without chicken. We’d probably be eating a lot more beef. Not that we don’t eat beef all the time. Good beef can be great. But chicken is truly the simplest meat to put with anything else.

Think about fish for a second. You can’t really put fish with many things. Okay, a chef might not agree with me. A certain person that decided to make a fish sing and hang it on the wall would disagree with me, but I digress. Hell, most people will probably disagree with me. But I still find chicken to be an easier meat to cook with. It could also be because I have a disposition to get angry every time I think about tuna casserole. But that could be something to do with the fact that I grew up eating a lot of tuna casserole. I have to say it’s one of the worst dishes I’ve ever had. You can’t escape it’s rancidness, no matter how many different frozen vegetables you put in it.

I ate a lot of chicken growing up and I still eat chicken weekly. One of my favorite dishes I had once was this lovely Portuguese dish called Cabidela where one puts the chicken blood in with the meal. Fantastic and gross. But why do I mention chicken apart from finding myself getting hungry or sounding like some kind of chicken fanatic?

Because we are chicken, my friends. Yes you heard me.

Hell, one of the burning questions of all time is based around chicken! What came first: the chicken or the egg? Insightful, right? No not really, but it’s a great cliche of a question. Just putting that out there. Does it get you thinking? No? I tried, geez people are hard to please. Anyway, back to the horrible analogy I just created in five minutes.

As chickens, we try to go forward with our heads bobbing to the tune of life until it gets chopped off. BAM!..or is that CHOP? You're gone. Sometimes we're eaten by a family that also loves chicken but usually (cannibalism?) we end up badly clawing our way out of the coop with a frantic fervor of feathers. Okay, so some chickens just walk out effortlessly. That makes me smile to know that a chicken is out there able to swell with pride as he pimp strolls down the street in success. He worked his ass feathers off, dammit! Would that make them a rooster instead? Scratch that comparison.

But we’re focusing on the not so lucky chickens, right? We find out quickly that not only are we tender and juicy meat, but we have crappy wings too. Have you ever seen a chicken try to fly? It’s a horrid display. They can go for a little bit but not as far as a majestic bird with a beautiful wingspan can traverse effortlessly. Chickens sort of jump forward and fall to their destination after a morbidly lame take off. Perhaps life is a lot like this. Yeah, it certainly is.

We are people-chicken. Yes, people-chicken. You heard it here. Wisdom of the ages.

As people-chicken, we kind of dart around this planet and then propel ourselves forward haphazardly. Puffing for air as we attempt to fly graciously. Our beady little eyes about to pop out of our heads. We look silly but we keep going. Some of us know how to look good while doing it though, and that is why I love people-chicken. But not all is what it seems for the people-chicken. While we get some momentum, we’re always reminded of one thing: the ground. It's always there. Gravity is a bitch for people-chicken. Is that good? Is that bad? Probably both. Boy does it hurt sometimes.

But people-chicken are fascinating creatures that don't know when to give up. Keep this in mind next time the ground reminds you of it's presence.


Was this a bad analogy for life? Yes, yes it was. Do I care? A little bit. So, why am I advocating for chicken? I’m not really but I thought it would be worth writing about.

Chicken is affordable and it’s simple to acquire. Too often we look for the distinction of a beautiful pheasant in our folly of understanding reality; but life is hardly ever ready to give us such a wonderful start. It can take years before we actually fly-hop to somewhere decent. Seriously, chicken is great, but chicken-people are better.

What? Don't like it? Hey, you read this far. Have some chicken nuggets. Nuggets of valuable information.

Tchh, this is priceless advice my friend. Now excuse me while I hop over there towards some grain that's calling my name.

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