Hi folks and welcome to my personal blog of introspection, creativity, and exploration.

Here you'll find many creations of mine including: comics, short stories, poems, diaries, posts about life, and the occasional post on indie game development.

I'm striving to stay on the creative path to heal and grow.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Stone Heart

You crack me open and close me up. Pluck open each wound and suture it crudely with masterful hands.

In this stone heart of mine, your words cut through and erase the carapace that’s grown around it and stunted me.

You take the parts of me that have become thick crags and beautifully corrode away the layers with your acidic words.

You look into me and know who I am without knowing who I am.

You drown me. My eyes try to find you in the waves and I see myself drowning in your eyes. You hold me down in the deep dark waters but make me face all the fear inside my ocean.

You present the pieces of me that I’d lost along the way, decades of an untold tome of history. It unfolds as your fingers turn each page. How can you read me like a book without ever knowing the title?

You erase the silence by your silences giving me a voice again. You make me fall silent when I talk too much, reminding me how to be in silence.

You are the statue I caress in my mind and want to chip away at but you open me up instead, pulling out my hardened heart as I imagine your frozen eyes pierce into it’s stone.

You make my heart open again, piece by piece, as I fail miserably at picking it away on my own. You chisel away at it gracefully as I try to pick at it like a fool that fumbles with each beat.

You make me feel everything that never was and give birth to a seed of something more I want to become. You show me who I used to be and the frigid ice that’s grown around me to protect me from the sun that tries to melt me.

You teach me so much by teaching me what feelings I’d lost. Those that see themselves inside your mirror, do they understand? It has shown me my own pride of hiding inside my own failing pride.

You made me fall in love with who I wasn’t as I fell in love with you and who you weren’t.

The emptiness behind the mask has shown the child that yearns to dream that was frozen inside me as I can see the child that once was you.

Your darkness hides away the blinding light long enough to show me it’s own blinding capability.


Your black hole sucked me into every emotion I forgot existed when they disappeared into the grayness of my own silent suffering.

You are alive in ways I’m not and I’m alive in ways that you aren’t. You somehow gave me life.

The vines of sleep that grew around me are easily cut away by your words of bitter truth that make me see that which I’ve been ignoring.

You make me tick like a bomb in your hands as you push each button for detonation, but I explode back in on myself; reminding me of my own strength.

The uncertainty becomes certain when I think of you and the certainty becomes uncertain. A question never answered but answered by that nothing.

You bury me and I see those that buried me so long ago but you pull me up from my own dirt that buried all I was inside.

You show me what I wanted to see of myself and what I didn’t want to see as I see inside of you.

The gift you have given me stings deeper than a knife in my back but I give thanks at the weakness it’s shown me as I pull out the insidiousness.

Your humanity tethers me to this reality and reminds me that I’m human when I thought I could take on anything.

The dreams are of a shadow I never know that guides me on a dark path I ignored in favor of the path that sacrificed myself in kindness to others.

I want to pour my emotions at your feet as you take from me and show me what’s beneath. Discovering what is hunger and how my own hunger is in suppression.

Everything they said I would be exists in you and caresses me with the temptation of that side of me I don’t want to be.

You are the one that shows me how hard I have become and how soft I can be.

I know I can never have you but that reminds me of my own selfishness as I scream inside for the love you can’t give me.

I dream of you being happy as you’ve torn open my heart with your teeth and feast, injecting loneliness and sadness with your venom. But to feel all of it makes me alive.

You have shown me how dead I was emotionally by showing your emotions freely.

You make me question myself and also never question myself again.

That which you presented to me destroys me and rebirths me.

You are the brutal truth that slices through my perceived reality. I want to make so much more become reality and create so much fantasy through this inspiration.

You make me genuinely smile and coax out the tears that have been pushed down for so long.

You are something divine and deadly and you show me my own deadliness and divinity.

A dream, a spectre, a ghost that walked through my life with a blinding precision.

A guiding star that fell in front of me I wish I could give back to.

I want to give to you that which you give to me. The truth.





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